If you believe the fairytales, today (well, not this day; some day hundreds of years ago) is the day when the American Indians and early American settlers decide to throw down their weapons  and gorge on food and booze.

Yeah. The indians decided, “You know what bro? We’ve had this land to ourselves long enough and should probably share it with the white devils (who happen to have gunpowder and small pox).

And the settlers were like, “Dude, we can’t feed ourselves because we don’t know how to farm, so we should probably party with these brown dudes. Plus, we need a little color in our blood anyway right?” 

And so, the indians threw down their hatchets and bows, and the white settlers abandoned their rifles and disease ridden blankets, and both parties sat down to an awesome feast. There was drinking, eating, singing, and probably some consensual fornication in the trees nearby. If you ask me, sounds like a pretty kick-ass time.

If you’re an American, you know what Thanksgiving holiday is all about:

  • Eating enough food for three people
  • Falling asleep wherever your body lands
  • Seeing those creepy relatives whose names and connection to the family you can never remember

At this juncture, some people might mention Black Friday sales—the day after Thanksgiving—which happens to be both the day when people do the most shopping, and when the most people die by trampling. Go figure—nice going Walmart (cocks). And, if you were, indeed, thinking about Black Friday this year, I’d ask you: “What Black Friday?” because the craziness that is American consumerism begins TODAY folks, right on Thanksgiving. So, just in case you needed yet another reason to get trampled to death this year trying to get 40% off that piece of junk you don’t need, many stores are offering amazing deals all damn Thanksgiving Day—you know, the day in which families are meant to spend time with loved ones, reflecting on the things they’re already thankful for. So, really, f*ck holiday shopping. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.

So anyway, when you’re not out shooting turkey, guzzling booze, or terrorizing your little cousins, this day is meant for us to reflect on those things in our lives for which we feel most thankful. And, if you’re coming up a little short on your list, allow me to help you out with a few of my own.


If you can breathe unaided, walk, talk, think, and see—you have health people. There are so many others out there that struggle daily with critical health problems and never get to fully enjoy the most fundamental aspects of life. Please cherish your health and take care of yourselves. Feed your body, mind, and spirit with good things. As my grandfather always said: If you don’t have health, you don’t have anything.


Don’t you just love being able to walk down the street and say whatever you want without being handcuffed or executed? ME TOO! I can sit here and write any ideas that I deem worthy of transcription, and my government can’t punish me for it. I’m free to start my own business, pursue my own interests and agenda, and live the life I choose. Some of the greatest ideas ever conceived and willed into reality have been American ideas birthed in the goldne light of Democracy: Google, Facebook, Apple computers, cordless technology, VIDEO GAMES, toliet paper, the laser, bubble gum, THE INTERNETSo, when people begin all that fear mongering talk about socialism in America, or start bad mouthing Democracy, I tell them to have a nice warm glass of shut-the-hell-up. None of these revolutionary ideas would make it in any other country. How do I know that? Because they actually didn’t make it there.


Okay, so your family isn’t exactly like the Cosby’s, and your friends don’t always come through, but you know what? You’re loved. People care about you. You’re a big part of people’s lives, playing a main character in their own personal universe, and that’s awesome. Take some time to remember all the good things they’ve done for you and how they’ve really been there to support you through the rough patches. People often take family members and friends for granted because we figure: that’s their role, they’re supposed to be there for me. Grab hold of your ego and smack it really hard. No one has to do ANY THING for you. These people care enough to go out of their way for you, and stopping once in a while to explicitly thank them isn’t going to kill you. Do it.


Do you realize how lucky and awesome it is just to BE ALIVE? Look at that pen next to you, or that shitty desk you’re sitting at, or the book on the shelf; what are they doing? NOTHING! They can’t do shit. All they can do is sit there and be an object of convention, a meaningless void that has no value but the one we fill it with. Being human is the greatest gift one could ever hope to have. Our conscious experience of the world is a complete anomaly, a sensory joyride through our own personal universe, starring US. Don’t take your life for granted; make something of it. Live it the way you want.

You know, about 6 months ago I was starring out the window of a bus in Japan and began anticipating my return home to the states. I thought about hunting for a job again, about money, friends, family, and how my future might turn out. I even stumbled over a few stinging thoughts of subtle regret: I’ve been here two years, maybe I should have stayed home and gotten a Masters instead. And then, something occurred to me which stopped my negative thinking altogether. Ever since I was young, I’ve always been an adventurous person, hoping to explore new and exciting places, wanting to meet interesting and diverse people. In my two years living in Japan, I had been to China and South Korea and had met many friends and listened to many different stories along the way. I had been living my dream all along. And, as the bus rounded the corner, exposing my face to the warm afternoon sunshine, I felt a profound peace and satisfaction within me: I was living my life exactly the way I wanted.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. Be well.